The squeaky wheel...

If only I knew a year ago. If only I knew that all I needed was for my mommy to call Tom Northrop at the Observer-Reporter and demand that I keep my reporting job. If only I knew that whining and moaning gets you exactly what you want in America.

That's what happened with the breadlining Pittsburgh piergoi just days after the Pirates fired him for insubordination. Rather than taking his punishment like a man, his "helicopter mother" swooped in and saved the day. She whined to the Post-Gazette, prompting a dismal media buzz that forced the Pirates to rehire the 24-year-old. The baseball club now claims the disparaging comments about the team on his Facebook site were not grounds to be fired, but I suspect that the bad publicity caused the quick turnaround.

If only I knew a year ago.

Although I still doubt the initial termination is news, I most certainly think the rehiring is newsworthy. It shows that hard work means very little nowadays as long as you stomp your feet until you get your way. It shows that you can trash your employer (the people who sign your paychecks) and get away with it as long as you're a cute and lovable pierogi.

So maybe that's the answer. Maybe I've been looking at the wrong career all along. I performed as The Wild Thing several years ago while interning with Washington County's minor league baseball team. Maybe next year I can find a teflon job as Sauerkraut Saul.